I Could Just Cuddle These ‘Watch Dogs 2’ Characters

I'm not in the critical corner that considers the original Watch Dogs entirely without merit, but the further we get from its 2014 release, the clearer we see what a dour, depressing game it was.

From the unsympathetic vigilante Aidan Pearce and his terrible trench coat to the soaking sheets of Chicago rain (to say nothing about the game's treatment of Chicago itself​) and the human trafficking subplot of the story, it didn't have a lot of happiness to it.

This year's sequel does, however. The glitch-skewed shimmer of Hudson Mohawke's electronic soundtrack perfectly complements the sun-kissed, high-tech climes of the San Francisco Bay setting. Hilarious emergent play is made possible courtesy of the series' smartphone-powered remote hacking mechanic. I can't recall the last time I laughed out loud so heartily at a triple-A game's (albeit slightly deadly) slapstick potential realizing itself before my eyes.

But more than anything else, during my first half-dozen hours or so with Watch Dogs 2, what I loved most was the characters it introduces and asks you to care about: the core members of hacking collective​ DedSec.

There's "you," of course: Marcus Holloway, a guy so talented with a laptop and a few lines of code he can erase the rap sheet the game's CTOS 2.0 network has on him, and also take (a few "research" upgrades later) control of increasingly elaborate machinery: swinging stages on the side of multi-stories, scissor lifts and San Francisco's jam-packed commuter traffic.

Marcus is amongst the most refreshingly, well, human protagonists I've had the pleasure of playing as in 2016. Sure, you can turn him into a sub-machine gun-wielding maniac; but many an obstacle in the game can be overcome through significantly less lethal means.

What I really like is how admirably geeky he is about stuff, just trivial shit that doesn't matter in the Grand Scheme, and how he brings that personality through in his expressions: "Man, this is so analog," he despairs at one point, with genuine dissatisfaction. We all have shades of this in real life, but our favorite digital avatars so rarely express such nuance.

He gets super excited over imported German board games—"Shit, that's Free Road… It won a Golden Ace!" he exclaims at Gary's Games & Glory, the cardboard and coffee shop that DedSec's primary headquarters is hidden beneath—and he is visibly pumped for the trailer of a dumb new action movie.

I like Marcus a lot, even when I'm forced to make him introduce a billiard ball into a security guard's face because I've fucked up going in stealthy again. It's not him, after all, it's me. And dressing him up in all sorts of ridiculous stuff is magical—who wouldn't want to take on a mission dressed in a garish tank top, rainbow beanie and rubber sandals? This guy is a heroic super-nerd, in the most positive sense possible.

Genuinely great ensemble casts are a rarity in video games—Oxenfree, Persona 4 and the Yakuza series come immediately to mind, but not a lot follows. (Yes, I can hear you shouting your own suggestions, tweet them to the usual address.)

But here we have one, as Marcus is ably supported by a central trio of collaborators, each of whom possesses a distinct personality, and more pertinently, a good one. Again, these are exaggerated versions of people who we've all met in our real lives, albeit filtered through purposefully zany design in the case of perhaps the best of the bunch, Wrench.

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Wrench is a delight. He wears a goofy digital "emotes" mask (how he drinks the coffee he asks for, I do not know) and a leather jacket so studded you could hang the daily output of a Dunkin' Donuts on his torso and arms and still have space for your own coat and hat.

He speaks through a weird pitch-shifter than makes him sound as if he's trapped inside an Atari ST, and his arms are painted in a hodgepodge of tattoos more hipster than a reward card at a cereal café. But he's legitimately brilliant—immediately friendly towards newcomer Marcus, bonding over the protagonist's affection for cheesy blockbusters. He often takes the blunt approach to problems: in a scene already shown (so no spoilers, I think), he uses a sledgehammer to separate a microchip from a CTOS-connected toaster. Someone of my DIY skills can absolutely relate to that kind of fuss-free disassembly.

More distant is Josh, a character on the autism spectrum. He struggles to keep up with the jokes of the group, and forever acts with a deadpan demeanor—but isn't ever made to look a fool because of his behavior. Indeed, there's real warmth to the cutscenes that feature him, despite his distance,  as his DedSec colleagues clearly have great affection for him. His security-smashing talents are appreciated, but you suspect that if he was just grabbing take-out twice a day, he'd still be a singular joy to have around.

Josh finds the crude technological terminology of the movie Marcus and Wrench like so much, CyberDriver, acutely insulting, but at the same time, allows himself a reserved ripple of a laugh when he works out what his friends mean when they're using "cornholing" as a verb. He speaks his mind matter-of-factly but never insultingly. Apparently, Ubisoft had originally envisioned Josh as a generic YouTuber, all loutish vociferousness and livewire energy. I'm glad they went with this reserved, eminently more personable alternative.

And finally—in terms of the core quartet, as there are others who also impress, albeit with lesser mission-to-mission relevance—there's Sitara. She's infinitely more street-savvy than the boys, and she reads as the de facto leader of the San Fran DedSec operation. Where she leads, they follow—and she uses this innate influence well, stirring up protestors and constantly bringing more people to the DedSec cause.

Above: The launch trailer for 'Watch Dogs 2'

She proves herself early on, not needing a knight in shining armor—or even a dude in distressed skinny jeans and canvas high-tops—to give her a helping hand, as she leaps from rooftop to rooftop to splash DedSec branding for all to see. As the driving force for the organization's social media visibility, she's forever hungry for DedSec to go further, faster, harder.

She has the most palpable distrust of CTOS, although why, precisely, isn't something I'm about to spill (mainly on account of not really knowing yet myself, to be honest). And while she is, essentially, the game's token woman, she's not as overtly sexualized as many who've come before her, which allows her personality—encouraging, proud, pleasingly pro-active—to take center stage.

How these three—four, once Marcus is initiated—interact is one of the most impressive elements of Watch Dogs 2's foundations, the believable support for some spectacular set pieces and player-directed hacking hijinks.

When I say I could just cuddle them, that's because they each feel reachable, touchable, real. When they're joking about on the beach, drinking and getting goofy, that's a place where I've been, that most of us have, metaphorically if not literally. They're each a hyper-real representation of reality, maybe, but that's entertainment—and I can safely say that Watch Dogs 2 reflects plenty of the world I know, the friendships I've had, and coats that image in a vivid glow of neon pixels. I'm not close to having my fill yet.

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