The Hottest Daddies in Video Games
On the nature of what makes a daddy, and a look at the very hottest examples in all of gaming.
What is a daddy? Is it simply someone who has fathered a child? Does the term denote a burly physique or an older lover? Are daddies always dominant or are there daddy submissives and daddy bottoms?
The truth is, daddies can be all or none of these things. But being a daddy lover does mean that the game industry hasn't really catered to some of your appetites. Most of the characters on this list were probably never intended to be sexy to anyone. Yet we as daddy loving gamers have managed to push through and fantasize about 'em anyway! Read below for a countdown of the ten hottest daddies in video games.
10. Wulfric from Pokémon X&Y
Along with being an ice type trainer, Wulfric has a handsome gut and a beard as white as snow- the epitome of a polar bear. His parka cape and tank top give this gym leader a sloppy vibe which will repel many but charm a select few. Wulfric is around ice all day so he probably hardly sweats at all; but it's nice to imagine that his tank top still smells really musky.
9. Jax from Mortal Kombat
Looking back on it, the pixelated image of Jax standing shirtless in front of an American flag is still one of the sexiest moments in Mortal Kombat history. He was doing the military cut/mustache combo way before all the hipster white boys caught on. Hey Jax, why are you always hanging out with Sonya, but you never let her put it on ya? Seems suspicious! The appearance of Jax's daughter Jacqui in Mortal Kombat X sort of put the gay rumors to rest (maybe), but I can always have hope goddammit!
8. Any Roegadyn from Final Fantasy XIV
The Roegadyn are an entire SPECIES of fantasy daddies. There are actually bara (bear manga) guilds within FFXIV and Roegadyn players show off their characters in massive "Show Your Roe" forum threads. In other MMOs, bulkier races are usually suited for tank warrior jobs but in Final Fantasy XIV the racial stats are less fixed. I think that's very good because your race should never determine your job and also it's nice to have gentle healer daddies.
7. King from King of Fighters
Screw the gender binary! King is a handsome daddy through and through—I'd definitely let her put the muscle on me. I kind of wish they hadn't femmed her up in later games since she was the only butch queen in fighting games for a while, but I still find her very charming in every iteration. I mean come on! King's such a boss, her name is in the title of the game.
6. Dudley from Street Fighter
Dudley is so refined and I bet he'd bring you flowers, drink tea with you and tell you that you had dignity. The house music track for his stage, You Blow My Mind, is so good that you just want to dance to it all the time. He could easily KO me with just the toss of a rose.
Dudley KO video courtesy of YouTube user ThatLuckyBear.
5. The Various Snakes
I think most people would agree that the hottest thing about Solid Snake—or Naked, or Venom, or... all the other Snakes—(other than his name being a euphemism for a boner) is his voice. David Hayter is the original voice of Solid Snake and also starred in a Power Ranger style horror film called "The Guyver." Lastly, he helped write the first two X-Men movies. You know what fuck you David Hayter! I resent your skills! Those first two X-Men movies weren't AS good as they could've been but that is a diverse-ass life!
4. Mitsurugi from Soul Calibur
I remember, in Soul Calibur for Dreamcast, one of Mitsurugi's outfits was a kimono and you could see his underpants sometimes. He had really nice thighs. I used to like to think of him as an anti-gun advocate since he was always talking smack about guns but I think he was just worried that, as a swordsman, rifles were putting him out of a job. If there's an official piece of Soul Calibur artwork where Mitsurugi doesn't look drop dead gorgeous I haven't seen it.
Zarya girlfriend video courtesy of YouTube user ZamOfficial.
You could probably publish a Henry Darger-length epic with the amount of gay Overwatch fan art that's accumulated this year... And it's even trickled over into canon. A depiction of Overwatch's Tracer kissing her partner got the Overwatch comics banned in Russia; so it's perhaps ironic that the soviet state is also Zarya's home country.
Nothing's been confirmed by Blizzard, but regardless if she fits into any gay/straight categories, Zarya is unquestionably a daddy and the biggest Russian queer icon besides Katya. One of the top Zarya players is a 17 year old Korean girl named Geguri so talented she was accused of cheating by bitter gamer bros—two of whom quit playing after their claims were debunked. I believe that you CAN be a daddy against patriarchy, and (through Geguri) Zarya has become an exemplar of that possibility.
Mario is a bear cub with a positive attitude and a diverse palette of acrobatic abilities... He's the total package, though I do hope he eats a mushroom before he comes and hangs out with me. In a media landscape rife with millionaires and washboard abs, it's nice to see a simple plumber with a paunch reach such dizzying heights of celebrity. Lastly, just putting it out there, King Bowser can kidnap me whenever he wants for political or personal reasons. That might sound wrong but it FEELS so right!
1. Barret Wallace
I know most people would say they just like Barrett for his handsome good looks but he also really cares about the environment AND he's a loving father. Having a gun for a hand could be an obstacle in certain romantic interludes but he can replace that with a robot fist if you go out and buy one.
One of the most powerful moments of Final Fantasy VII is when Cloud is whining and Barrett tells him "How many people in this world do ya think really understand themselves? People get depressed in life because they don't know what's up. But, they go on living. They don't run away... isn't that how it is?" A truly inspirational daddy.