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Games

Rediscovering How to Take a Break

Our culture offers a lot of tips on how to do attack big projects and fulfill ambitious goals, but what comes after?
Just Cause 3 screenshot courtesy of Square Enix

A close friend recently finished her PhD thesis, which is one of those milestones that's both an occasion for joy and an opportunity for some of the most profound, "Well what the hell do I do now?" dread it's possible to experience. Any huge project or long-term professional commitment, for all its challenges, at least offers the consolation of helping to keep existential confusion about one's purpose at bay.

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When I was in college I decided to write a senior thesis on the outbreak of the Peloponnesian War. I made this decision my sophomore year and so, for the next two years, that thesis became my own personal magnetic north. No matter what else I was doing or what else was happening, I knew that this project was ultimately there waiting for me. Whenever I didn't have anything else to do, I knew exactly what to do: research, study, writing.

But letting go of these things and adapting to a life independent of those rhythms is its own kind of challenge. It occurs to me that I'm not sure I ever really learned the trick. After I turned in my thesis and then graduated college, I spent several weeks battling the worst insomnia of my life, a period which I recall only as a blur of different drinks (all disgusting), Civilization games, and too-early sunrises. It was frustrating more than fun: I had accomplished what I'd spent years dreaming of, but it didn't seem to have given me anything. Instead, I'd just lost a sense of purpose.

That feeling passed but honestly, I could have done without the sleepless nights and unfocused frustration. These days I've gotten better and handling those "pencils down" moments: typically, I try to begin vacations by seeing friends or taking a short trip, just to provide a change of physical scenery and company to match the change in mental backdrop. But learning how to walk away from giant projects is still a skill I'm trying to develop.

So I guess my question this week is, what's the best way to move on from a big project? How do you make the mental leap from all-consuming work to leisure and restoration?

Let me know in today's open thread!